JOKE THREAD

[nomeradona]

First topic message reminder :

gawa nga tayo ng joke thread. basta clean jokes lang ha.

una na ako...

BAMPIRA

sa Pilipinas daw, dahil sa kahirapan ng buhay marami na daw yung mga bampira. listen to the telphone conversation. si Ina tinawagan si Noynoy na nasa Saudi

INA: Noynoy sensya na anak napatawag ako, kasi si Junjun may sakit, la naman kami dito, wala BAMPIRA dyan.
si Neneng wala ring isuot sa Prom, wala BAMPIRA dyan. ganun din si Bokbok walang pangmatrikula wala BAMPIRA talaga dyan.

diba ang daming Bampira.

[JAKE]

A lizard fell on a table.

Genius: Oh! reptila scincidae;
Kikay: Eew, lizard!;
Astig: Shit, butiki!;
Mataray: Shucks, butiks!;
Mayaman: Yuck! Lacoste!;
Mahirap: Pare, ulam!

[JAKE]

Anak: Inay, ang galing ng titser ko.
Inay: Bakit naman?
Anak: Tinuruan kami ng kagandahang asal.
Nanay: Eh di marunong ka nang gumalang at magpo at opo?
Anak: Natural! Tanga ka ba?

[JAKE]

Pupil: Mam, bumubukol
po ba ang utot?
Teacher: No! Definitely not! Kasi
hangin lang yun! Remember, hindi bumubukol ang utot...
Pupil: Naku patay! Tae na to!

[pixelburn]

1. Trulalu.
2. eklavu
3. eklavu.
4. trulalu
5. eklavu
6. trulalu
7. trulalu.
8. eklavu
9. trulalu
10. trulalu
-batang bading nagsasagot ng true or false na quiz.

[pixelburn]

MEKANIKO: sir, hindi ko po naayos preno ng kotse niyo.
CUSTOMER: ha?! Pano yan?
MEKANIKO: nilakasan ko na lang po ang inyong busina! Happy trip na lang po!

[JAKE]

Dalawang unano galing motel.
UNANO 1: pare, hindi ko nagalaw date ko kagabi, buti pa kayo, dinig
ko humihiyaw ka ng "1,2,3 ummph!!"
UNANO 2: ga go! Hindi ko kasi maakyat ang kama .

[pixelburn]

Dalawang unano galing motel.
UNANO 1: pare, hindi ko nagalaw date ko kagabi, buti pa kayo, dinig
ko humihiyaw ka ng "1,2,3 ummph!!"
UNANO 2: ga go! Hindi ko kasi maakyat ang kama .

hahaha! ayaw kong imaginin!

[ARCHITHEKTHURA]

If you are architecture students you've probably experienced:-the taste of wood glue
-changes in your vocabulary: homework to project, ball to sphere, etc
-you don't understand how somebody can spend less than $20 at the supplies store
-you hate people telling you "go to sleep" or "do you still have a lot of work?"
-your friends and you don't have the same concept of work "oh, well do it right before class"
-you've slept more than 20 straight hours on weekends
-you can easily discuss with authority the effects of caffeine on different drinks
-no matter the effort you put in a project, somebody will always say “why don’t you add this?? or “why don’t you change this here?? or “i think that…but…yeah, its ok??
-you’ve heard all your ipod songs in a week
-you aren’t seen in public without bags under your eyes
-whenever you get invited somewhere, it is followed by “or do you have a lot of homework???
-you’ll dance ymca with a choreography without a drop of alcohol in your system
-you write down a quick message with rapidographs, lead holders, markers and ink
-you constantly make up excuses for courses that are not design related why you didn’t do your work
-you have more pictures of landscapes and places than of people
-your worst nightmare consists of not finishing a project
-someone once called you “lazy?? and you wanted them murdered
-you can live without human contact, sunlight, food, but if your plotter’s ink runs out… chaos!!!
-when somebody lends you a Bic pen you look down at it
-you don’t care about sports cars, your favorite car is the one where you can put in your model and your huge computer
-you design spectacular things without the idea of the cost
-you have the modern mark: a blister in your palm’s hand for the constant use of your mouse
-everybody tells you how they admire your work, “but there is no money for it??
-you’ve gained the ability to sleep in whatever surface: pencils, keyboards, backpacks, your studio mates, food, etc
-you always have the idea that your project will always be recognized
-when you finally have free time to go out you keep thinking “who was the idiot that designed the restaurant’s bathroom??? “who designed this menu??? or “who designed this [chair, table, lighting, fork, etc]??
-you've been at many sunrises, yet you've never seen one


top 10 reasons why to date an architect or designer

1. all night long, all night strong.
2. we are damn good with our hands.
3. if we can commit to chipboard, relationships should be easy.
4. you should see the things we errect.
5. use to doing things over and over again.
6. finishing early never happenes.
7. we know the true meaning of interpretation
8. creative positioning.
9. work well in groups
10. entry and passage are always exciting.



Cheers!

[qui gon]

The Fugitive: Naglalahong parang bula.

ayan,eksaktong ako yan....marami akong alibay eh hahahaaha

[pixelburn]

[

top 10 reasons why to date an architect or designer


6. finishing early never happenes.


Cheers!

i like this one,,, ito ang akin!!!!

[virus]

HOST: Miss Philippines, what is your stand on premarital sex?
Ms. PHILIPPINES: My Gosh!! The question is so funny. I do not stand. I lay down. Thank you...

[kurdaps!]

top 10 reasons why to date an architect or designer

1. all night long, all night strong.
2. we are damn good with our hands.
3. if we can commit to chipboard, relationships should be easy.
4. you should see the things we errect.
5. use to doing things over and over again.
6. finishing early never happenes.
7. we know the true meaning of interpretation
8. creative positioning.
9. work well in groups
10. entry and passage are always exciting.

[pixelburn]

HOST: Miss Philippines, what is your stand on premarital sex?
Ms. PHILIPPINES: My Gosh!! The question is so funny. I do not stand. I lay down. Thank you...

this is funny:lol:

[ARCHITHEKTHURA]

top 10 reasons why to date an architect or designer

1. all night long, all night strong.
2. we are damn good with our hands.
3. if we can commit to chipboard, relationships should be easy.
4. you should see the things we errect.
5. use to doing things over and over again.
6. finishing early never happenes.
7. we know the true meaning of interpretation
8. creative positioning.
9. work well in groups
10. entry and passage are always exciting.

San pa sila!!>??Hahahahaaha..

[qui gon]

top 10 reasons why to date an architect or designer

1. all night long, all night strong.
2. we are damn good with our hands.
3. if we can commit to chipboard, relationships should be easy.
4. you should see the things we errect.
5. use to doing things over and over again.
6. finishing early never happenes.
7. we know the true meaning of interpretation
8. creative positioning.
9. work well in groups
10. entry and passage are always exciting.

San pa sila!!>??Hahahahaaha..

[Guest]

-you've been at many sunrises, yet you've never seen one

i finally saw last saturday!!!!

-you’ll dance ymca with a choreography without a drop of alcohol in your system

i wanna see this one!!!!!

[pixelburn]

Spanish teacher: Class use 'fuera' in sentence.

Student: Mis maestras son bonitas (my teachers are beautiful).

Teacher: Oh, that's very flattering but where's
'fuera'?

Student: Fuera ka!

|

[pixelburn]

GUY: ano ang horoscope mo?

GIRL: anong huruskup?

GUY: yung bang kapalaran mo, katulad ko, CANCER.

GIRL: ah, sa akin ALMURANAS!

[skyscraper100]

AIR PRESSURE

Pa-landing na ang presidential plane. Napansin ng stewardess na parang sumasakit ang tenga ni President Erap dahil sa air pressure kaya lumapit ito.

‘Sir, chewing gum para hindi sumakit ang tenga ninyo sa flight,’ sabi ng stewardess.

Tinanggap ni Erap ang chewing gum. Ilang sandali pa, lumapag na ang eroplano. Kinausap ni Erap ang stewardess.

‘Miss, paano ko tatanggalin ang chewing gum sa tenga ko?’ tanong nito.



PASALOAD

ERAP: Loi, pasahan mo nga ako ng 2 my importante lang akong itetext. ~ LOI: (P2 send)

ERAP: (message received) OK!! got it thanks! ~

LOI: Tanga! wag ka ng magreply, Sayang!! ~

ERAP: ok!



INFORMATION

Erap: Hello, I will like to inquire how long is the flight to San Francisco ?

Operator: Just a minute sir…

Erap: Thank you! (klik).

[bokkins]

Spanish teacher: Class use 'fuera' in sentence.

Student: Mis maestras son bonitas (my teachers are beautiful).

Teacher: Oh, that's very flattering but where's
'fuera'?

Student: Fuera ka!

|

Benta to bro! haha. matry nga sa titser ko dun sa spanish class ko. haha.

[kikay18]

hahaha nice joke ...
kakatuwa nmn..

[nomeradona]

History

Teacher: Erap, bakit ka hindi pumunta sa eskwela nung sabado. di ba sabi ko punta kayo dito ng saturday for your make up exam in History

Erap: eh ser, sinundo ko girlfriend ko.

Teacher: what is important your girlfriend or your grade in History

Erap: eh sir if i dont sundo my girlfriend, that would be history...


Payo ni Dok

Dahil sa pagtaba ni Erap ang payo ng duktor ay magdiet at magexercise for 6 months.

Dok: Mr. President, dapat po ay magdiet kayo...

Erap: So anung payo mo dok

Dok: from now on sir you can only eat vegetables and animals that could swim syempre pwede.

Erap: ok that would be doable.

After a week, binisita ni Dok sa Malacanang si Erap. It so happen naabutan nya si Loi.

Dok. Mam nasaan po si Pres. Erap

Loi: Nasa pool dok.

Dok. Wow! he really followed my advise? Can I go then on the pool Mam?

Loi. Sure tuloy ka lang Dok

Pinuntahan ni Dok si Erap sa pool....

DOk: Mr. President what are you doing in the Pool?

Erap: Eto dok.. I am teaching the pigs how to swim.

[kikay18]

hahaha...

ask lng bkt laging si erap ang karakter sa mga joke???

nyahahaha..

nakakatuwa tlg...

[nomeradona]

kasi kachachampion lang ni manny...

[kikay18]

weee... ano nmn kinalaman ni manny kay erap?? toinks!!!

[nheil29]

WWOOOOOOHOOOOHOHOOOOOHOOOO

naboang ako sa english-tagalog dictionary ni sir kurdaps.....

wait lng hindi ako makahinga......

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